I am feeling guilty and blue, how wrong was I?

Without commenting or judging your brother or your living situation, I would agree that you are taking Matt. 13 out of context. God is not mad at you and He is not punishing you. You seem (like a lot of folks I know) to confuse God's real character with attributes that we make up or misunderstand. God is love. period. He's not out to "get you" or trip you up because you did not perform good enough. He loved us enough to die for us "while we were still sinners". Nothing we can do or fail to do can change that. He allows time and chance and cause and effect to work in our lives for our own good, and sometimes it hurts us, but it is not God "hating " us or being "mad " at us. Do yourself a favor and re-read 1 John chapter 4. it's real short, but full of comfort, and I pray you can recieve such from it. Thanks for sharing and good luck.