Do you like this story i wrote?

Well, I'm interested. What's wrong with her face? My biggest compliment is that you didn't just say ___ said, ____ said, ____ said. That's the mistake most people have on here. My only complaint is that you have some awkwardly phrased sentences- example: "Along with the story, there's a picture. It's a picture of your face." That's a little repetitive. There are a few things of that, but mostly, excellent job!!